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There are days in my life when I feel that one doesn’t need the head. This head, when it aches, is not worth having. So what that it houses the brain – the mind which won’t stop chattering by itself. Noise, light and all input feels like torture. Worst of all, talking and having to reason out or persuading kids or kid-like adults. That’s the time when everyone ought to leave me alone for a couple of hours at the least. I should be allowed time and space of my own and nothing to do, nothing to care about, nobody to look after. Just calm, peace and quiet , both inside and outside… and then slowly things would get better. Much better.

Daudu mai daud mein, Kushtiyaan bhi ladu, apne ko samjhaau aur apne se pyaar agar mai karu, dukh aur sukh banein mere saathi, sukh ki khoj na rahe baaki , behti chalu mai hawa ki tarah, pani mein ghul mai jaau, koi na bata paye ki wo bhi thi , aau aur jaau ek mausam ki tarah.

…aur doosri taraf, ek aisi asantushti ki daud mein daudte rehna
Jiski na tho koi Manzil na he theherne ka thikaana
Iss bhaag mein bhaag lene Wale sab muquabil
Daud mein rahein shamil , bus yahi sabki Manzil
Akele khade humein nahi rehna , usmein Sharam hai, Parda hai
Chaahe hum sahi raaste pe he Nikle kyon na ho
Akela rehna jurm hai
Bheed mein mitti ban ke raho
Magar mai mitti ki tarah paani mein behna chahti hoon
Na ruku, na thamu,
Bus behna, udna, milna, uthna chahun.

Mujhe jagah chahiye
Dharti ki satah pe pair
Aur aas paas ki hawa mein pankh failane ke liye
Jagah chahiye

Bheed mein mai laapata
Khoya hua
Apne aap ko khudse door mehsoos karta hoon
Door se apne aap ko dekhta hoon
Tho samajh nahi aata ki in sab mein mai kaun hoon
Mera astitva kya hai
Kahan hoon mai
Sawaal he sawaal
Mitti he mitti
Dhool ka bawandar
Logo ka samandar
Doob raha hoon mai
Mujhe tairne do
Bus apne aas paas thodi si jagah Chahiye
Satah par, lehron mein,
Thoda apne liye waqt
Takaaza hai ye mera
Illtija hai meri
Apni shaqsiyat se waquif hote he
Mai apne aap ko hum sab mein
Aise mila loonga
Jaise chai mein cheeni ki mithaas
Jaise hawa mein khushbu gulo ki
Raat andheri syah zulfon si
Nayano mein, gehri neend mein sundar khwaab

Ek parvat ek pahaad ek chattaan si ye zindagi
Hazaaron meelo lambi si ye zindagi

Aur ye rasta
Nadiyon ki tarah
Ithlata kabhi mudta kabhi na thamta
Tumko tho badhe chale jaana hai
Rode patthar ped
Har padaav mein ek raaz
Uthaao kadam uttho giro chalo
So jaao jab thak jao
Magar chalna na chhodo
Jo ruka jo sochne baith gaya

Utthna mushkil ho jaayega
Sehem jayega aatuck jayega
Talaab ban jayegi ye zindagi
Usmein shaayad Kamal tho khilega
Magar sookhe patte, tooti tehniyaan aur
Aate jaate logon ki kahaaniyaan gadhengi
Har aati jaati hawa ka jhonka hila dega usski satah ko
Satah pe tair paayegi sirf ek kaagaz ki naanv
Man ko behlaaoge kissike zaroor,

man mein utarke dubki na laga paaoge

Ek rasta Dhoondho aur beh chalo
Seh jaao
Sehme sehme ye taalab
Behne do inko
Aane do wo sailaab
Kabhi kanhi kisi samandar mein
Jab utthe aisi leher
Sab lehron se alag
Ek keher
Ek keher ban kar jiyo

Tumhaare chaahne waale tumhe paane wale
Ko ho tallaash
Jab tum na milo
Jab tum ho udaas
Tairte rahein antim tak
Tumhaare saath
Aas paass
Pani mein jale aisi ek aag

Tumhaari raakh bhi bahe
Tumhari nadi mein aaj.

I’m about to leave
leave a lot behind
Shall be back tomorrow
So slip the sands of time.

Ennui has set in
My output is low
In deep slumber
the mind , it cannot explore.

The trees outside
a spade within
A spectrum of feelings
As the rainbow caves in.

Don’t leave her and go
Please take her along
She had waited for you
Though her resolve was not so strong.

Flowers are blooming
brightly colored
Representing life
Afterlife.

Lazily the wind sways them
This way and that
And they kiss the wind
As strangers do.

When the dust has settled: and it’s twilight

When the grass has grown: and the cattle have grazed

When the heart has leapt: has left its place

When you are no more: no more the same

When the day that dawns: shines in your face

When the time of day: is just the time of day

When night falls: and the day doesn’t break

When someone calls: shouts out in empty space

When ‘I’ devours: that comes its way

When darkness grows inside and darkness prevails

When the lights shine: that darkness hates

When flowers bloom: where no one cares

When mountains separate which valleys within

Valleys within: abysmal space

Circles of gloom: in tortuous waves

Dead and buried I sure am
Liberated from the troughs and crests of life

Lie here in my grave
Toss and turn – Not in worry any more – but only to change my posture
(Did that leave you a wee bit scareder?)

Brown and rotting

with worms swarming over me
Earth

that smells so putrid I could throw up

We the dead have our share of earthly sentiments
For long after we cease to exist
Them emotions so tough, they persist…